Here is Brother T's classy cultural contribution to Christmas. (More verses to come if the muse wills it). You can make up your own tune.
I've bought the family presents, and ones from them to me
And a musical card for Nana that plays 'Deck the Halls' in C
I've sprayed the front room windows with cfc free snow
And dressed the front door knocker with a tasteful velvet bow
I've bought an advent calendar with a Disney 'Snow White' theme
(Inside every window is a dwarf-shaped chocolate cream)
And I've pasted a nativity outside the downstairs loo
'Cos I think we should remember what its all about, don't you?
I've found the wind-up Santa which plays 'Jingle Bells'
I've found the festive candles that give off festive smells
I've found the things for hanging seasonal greetings on the walls
But I can't, I can't, I can't find
My shiny silver balls
I've just been down to Asda for an amputated tree
And a pair of frozen turkeys (it was buy one, get one free).
I've remembered nuts and dates, and other xmas treats
Which decorate the sideboard, but which no one ever eats.
I've scattered pot pourris in little hand-carved wooden bowls
And fashioned home-made crackers using tubes from toilet rolls.
I've draped the new conservatory with flashing LEDs
And stocked up on instant stuffing, brussels sprouts and frozen peas.
I've found the wind-up Santa...etc