Genetically Engineered Joke

This blog is getting way too serious.

According to multi-national studies led by Professor Richard Wiseman, jokes containing 103 words are the funniest. Jokes mentioning ducks are funnier than jokes about other animals. People from the Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand most enjoy jokes involving word plays. Putting these principles into practice, here is Brother Tobias'
attempt at the world's first 103 word punning duck joke:

A duck walked into a club and injured its beak. It was a wooden club.

It hurried to a hardware shop.

'What can I do for you?' said the shopkeeper.

'Have you got any duck tape?' asked the duck.

'Certainly,' replied the shopkeeper. 'Do you want to pay cash?'

'Just put it on my bill.'

'No problem. But why do you keep looking at me from under your wing?'

'I'm a Peking duck.'

Just then another customer came in and accidentally sat on the duck. In pain, he rushed to the doctor's surgery.

'What's the matter?' asked the doctor.

'I've got a duck stuck up my bum.'

'That's fowl,' said the doctor.


Okay. I know. Stick to the day job.