The Rules

Rule 13: Avoid Maidstone.

Rule 14: Don't answer the phone in a funny voice. The person calling is often considerably not who you were expecting.

Rule 15: Never try to impress your mother-in-law after your fifth Pimms.

Rule 16: You can't do handstands like you used to.

Rule 17: When visiting a hospital as an in-patient, remember to take pyjamas.