Thursday, 12 February 2009


Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
Our leader is Brown
And we're in the poo.


Your turn...


  1. I only got as far as "Gordon Brown, texture like scum..."

  2. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Gordon Brown
    We're going down

    not my best

  3. Ode to Gordon Brown.
    Shall I compare thee to a bale of hay?
    Thou art more shapeless and more allergenic.
    Let dollars rise and fall (as well they may),
    You've made the pound as worthless as a pfennig.

    Ahem. Sorry, still cross about being skint. Do I get points for a totally preposterous rhyme?

  4. Fancy - Excellent! A fine quatrain, notable for its central caesura and the plaintive falling cadence of the final anapest.

    Lucy - I can hear that synchopated rhythm now...As for the ode, you win an outright award of hardy laurels for a superbly merititious creation, and particularly for rhyming of 'allergenic' with 'pfennig' - a poetic first.

  5. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Neither of them can grow in this climate at this time of year,
    So if you're buying them for a loved one you're not only making all us single people feel shit, you're also contributing to global warming. So think about that, why don't you, you smug married.

    Have I missed the point of the exercise?

  6. Phfleugh. That's the sound of expelling fluff, Hattie. If I'd known my jaw was going to hit the floor I'd have hoovered. I think you have created a whole new genre of greeting card. Bit late for VD, but you could work something up for Easter?

  7. "Roses are red,
    Violets are blue;
    I never could write poetry,
    Doo de doo dah doo."

    Well, it worked for Sting.

  8. Rol - You underestimate your lyrical abilities. I particularly liked the villanellic repetition of 'doo' in the last line; there was an element of unstoppable inevitability about it that transcended something quite a lot.

  9. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I like blogging
    And think you do too

  10. DJ, that's plain classy. I wouldn't have expected anything less from you.

  11. Violets are blue
    Roses are red
    Romance in wedlock?
    Get yer head read.

    Sorry. He never gets me anything. No wait, untrue. However I am a bit tired of all the fluffy bollocky cards....

  12. Roses are red
    May flags are too
    For all Gordon's shit
    I'm not voting blue.

    Best I could come up with - it's way past my bedtime! ;-)

  13. Defecits are red
    Bankers are blue
    The nation is led
    Right down to the broo

  14. Red....
    I keep on chasing dreams,
    and want you all to chase them too

  15. Amanda - Brutal but good. And I've bought the SS a fluffy one this year, against my better judgement. Too late to change it, as we're snow-bound again.

    Steve - Pluckily gritty. I especially like the double-meaning of the third line.

    Madame D - Yon gey sang bears the gree; teuch, leal, it clouts the cuddie reivers whaur it skaiths!

    Justme - I like the ethereal tone of this; it is looking at the stars!

  16. Thanks, Mate. See ya in the seedy part o' town.

  17. Strewth Amanda, You still up? I'm game...

  18. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    My hours have been cut
    Daily meals we'll eschew



  19. Roses are red
    Violets are blue


    Taken from the Instructions Manual for Colour-Blind Florists.

  20. Pearl - Love it. Especially the implicit irony in the clever use of 'eschew'.

    Gadjo - This keeps making me laugh. To find an entirely new take on those two lines is genius.

  21. Brother, actually, I have to confess that I nicked it from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue ! :-)

  22. Time to get out the Old Brown Sherry, BT!

    BT's hedgies blue,
    Telephone boxes too
    Cupid's shot the leaders
    who shit their loafers
    Then Violet went astray
    and sadly so, OBS remains


  23. Slap in the head - I was about to chide you for your poem about Obama - not very race sensitive - until I realized this was a site by a British author. We Americans can be so egocentric, can't we?

  24. PS, looking back, I should have taken a clue from the capitalization of the word, eh?

  25. Junosmom - Welcome! Gosh, I hadn't been thinking beyond these small shores either, and see just how inappropriate my wording might seem. Gulp!

    I don't want to be gratuitously political, but I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't have high hopes of your new leader. Swap?

    Just been enjoying your posts.

  26. Brother Tobias, Thank you for your comment back. I've written about my silly mistake on my blog and linked to you. Rather amusing.

    As to the hopes of my country, it is difficult to say that "Americans" are hopeful as the culture, education levels, and beliefs vary widely depending on the region.

    I live in Kentucky, and am in what one might consider the "Bible belt". Here, many people I know are very conservative and fear Obama will take us into socialized medicine (which they do not want), bigger government, lax abortion laws (this was a big part of their opposition) and liberal views.

    My husband and I are "transplants" and aren't originally from this more southern region, and in fact, have more Northern views. We are hopeful that eventually, things will brighten but cautious enough to prepare for hard times before it gets better.