The Beast of Blue Bell Hill

The Social Secretary and her daughter have been having a strange morning. First they took the dog for a walk in the woods, and were taken aback when a large cat, 'about the size of a fox', with a thick tail, bounded across the path a few yards ahead of them. They have therefore now joined the lunatic fringe who have experienced sightings of large cats and UFOs (although it may also explain why the dog went ballistic on her late run up the garden last night, and why there is a chaos of feathers and a pair of pheasant's feet in the field by the fence).

There have been an increasing number of sightings of a puma or panther-like cat in this area over the last few years, known locally as 'The Beast of Blue Bell Hill', so maybe they didn't imagine it. But their credibility was subsequently undermined when, after duly reporting the sighting, they decided to celebrate by washing a couple of duvets. They drove to the village, parked up and walked into the laundrette with bulging black bin bags, packets of soap powder and a sandwich bag of loose change, only to find they were standing in an estate agency. Apparently the laundrette closed some time ago, which shows how often our duvets get the treatment.