Bobby has had a bit of a shock (and he doesn't shock easily). He was home from school early - it was a one lesson day (so that's how they keep class sizes down). On his way upstairs he passed his mother in the kitchen and his father in the study. It gave him a jolt, therefore, when he glanced from an upstairs window and saw a strange man bending over by the workshop.
It looked as if the man, who was wearing old jeans and a white shirt, was trying to break in. At this point Bob saw his father emerge from the house, carrying a stapler. He watched anxiously to see what would happen when his father came round the corner and saw the stranger.
Strangely, nothing happened. The stranger remained stooped by the door, and father did not seem surprised by his presence. Perhaps it's someone we know, he thought. At this point Bob saw his father bend down behind the man and fire a staple into his backside.
I really am too mature to be making guys for bonfires. But it's November the 5th and friends are coming over for some sausages and mulled wine, and I thought, as we aren't having fireworks because of the dog, and in the interests of tradition.....