Dirty Washing

Extraordinary what you can buy on eBay. The recent BBC programme Castaway was 'won' by a bearded person named Jonathan, who (according to the BBC press office, regards himself as 'very intelligent'. Latterly cleaning toilets, his previous jobs have included fortune-telling, tarot card reading and digging sewers. He is quoted as saying that 'humans make me sad'.

Claiming that he is not 'some bland wannabe', but a cult TV hero who is going to become 'more famous, popular, loved, revered etc.', Jonathan has put the disgusting clothes he wore on the programme up for auction on eBay, under the appropriate heading 'Jonathan's Disgusting Clothes'. They include shorts, swimming trunks, trousers, t-shirts and other soiled items.

The starting price is £0.01, the 'buy-it-now' price, £999.99. Scarily, he offers to deliver the items in person, albeit at a cost of 35p per mile.

There have been no bids yet. Humans may make Jonathan sad, but apparently they are not all as sad as Jonathan.